Conundrum or not..

conundrum..we all know that men and women think and act differently.

This recent scenario came up and I question what each sex would do..

Two people date for about a year..they have a not so great break up..stay in touch irregulary but nothing materializes. One person out of the couple has silently thought the friend of their now ex would have been even a better match then who they ended up with, but out of respect no moves were made.

Now 2 years past the break up..one party of the break up runs into the friend of their ex at a party...there seems to be a striking chemistry between the two It is very clear. So the question becomes is it disrespectful to pursue that potential relationship. As adults, can we decide in a mature manner that the past was the past..and if this new pairing is a better fit..isn't it worth exploring?!

I believe when we are talking about 2 women being friends..and the ex boyfriend..very rare this is going to go down. Being in this position before..a friend i later found out dated an ex..to be honest I did get upset..not really so much I cared but it really boils down perceived territory/property. The thing to always keep in mind..we are all someone's ex. We are all someone's sloppy seconds.

If the situation were 2 male friends..and an ex girlfriend is of interest to the friend...guy's seem to be more relaxed with the scenario. What is done is done, move on. However I think depending the the depth of the initial relationship it may be difficult to see your friend date/spend time with someone you might have thought could have been a spouse.

I think the respectful thing to do is to air on the side of caution. The friend should open the conversation about dating the ex. It's what happens next that gets complicated. If the friend isn't supportive..do you still pursue the relationship?