Ladies you know what I'm talking about. Out in the dating world it is incredibly important to take all precautions when choosing to be intimate with a man. For obvious reasons, we don't have go into detail about. But I will say one of the most forgotten reasons, that isn't really taken that seriously anymore is pregnancy. Although I do pride myself on using protection, it still can be an uneasy feeling when your cycle doesn't show up on time. You start doing the math, wishing you had a photographic memory, trying to rack your brain, analyzing calenders, trying to recollect when things could have, might have gone wrong. Grasping to hope that, just for now, it's not the right time or the 'right' guy.
That turns into chapter 'I can't be..but what if I am??'. Frantic thoughts of what will I tell my parents, how will my employer react? Am I parent material? This guy, is going to be the father?! How would my life change? How will others perceive me?
I am the type of person that overreacts in these situations because I have lots of daydreams of when I will become a mother and ideally the type of romantic relationship I would like to be in. Let's just say with the person I was previously dating, not an ideal candidate, not to mention we are not actively dating.
I now realize those pregnancy test companies sure know how to make a fortune. I know every single time I have ever purchased a test out of total fear and anxiety I never buy just one. So $20-30 later and still a negative reading you start think you have to be the exception to the rule and the more tests you take the less likely you are pregnant.
That leads me to talk about chapter 'Telling 'HIM' that you MIGHT be'. I suppose its a total defence mechanism, but I tried to have a very calm conversation about the cyclone of thoughts I was feeling. Although it didn't get incredibly heated, it was tense. I think its only fair that as a woman, I should feel open to discuss my worries and not be burdened with them alone. I think if anyone I should be able to share and discuss them with the other piece to the puzzle in this situation. You gotta love men though..although the possibility is sooo minute, they NEVER want to acknowledge the possiblity, unless they WANT you to be pregnant. I know some women will disagree with me about having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend (for intensive purposes) until I saw a doctor. I guess in some weird way I was hoping if I talked to him maybe it would shock my body into submission. And what'd ya know..after the second test I decided to take today..at work no less. My monthly gift gave me the best present I have received all month!!
What a relief!
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