Marriage..unchartered territory

I have conflicting thoughts on the concept of marriage. As an adult, I have read and watched enough tv shows to know that more than likely we will emulate our parent's marriage. When I was younger, like most little girls I envisioned it to be filled with romantic days, happy moments, devotion, respect, being and staying in love. I suppose you can partially blame tv shows (Cosby Show, Family Ties) and movies. Now, sometimes I think I want to experience that in my own life..my vision of marriage. A partner that is kind, thoughtful, loves me for me, a solid friendship, and respect. In my eyes, the feeling you have when you decide to share each other's lives should remain for a lifetime. But life happens, people grow apart, feelings change. The attitude I have taken with recent relationships scares me somewhat. I constantly think to myself..is this person appropiate? am I making a mistake? what if there is someone better suited for me? In life there are never any guarantees and when it comes to a life decision like marriage I hope that to be an easy decision. If I have to question it, it's probably not right.

I know two women..one of which has been married over 40 years, has adult children and currently retired.  She is terribly unhappy in her marriage but feels  starting a new life in your 60s is a challenging endeavour. When your identity for most of your life has been tied to another person. Walking away isn't so easy. The other woman has been married for less than 5 years, already experiencing true unhappiness in her life. She is debating whether to walk away before bearing any children. It's interesting to know that both of these women speak about struggles with their partner but are content with the status quo to complain another day. I guess from a single woman's perspective, I say LEAVE! life is short you are not promised tomorrow. Not to mention if the partner that you have pledged your life to be with is not taking an active role is resolving any relationship conflicts what is the point..to resent each other more over time?

Marriage..is it for me? to be determined..